Great Hall Happenings
by Queen of the Scoubies
Summary: OK, so Ginny commentates about the Great Hall happenings mainly between Hermoine and Draco, and Ron and Lavender. Its funny, so R&R! For I shall tell you no more...
1. Breakfast

Ginny grinned when she saw Harry approaching her at the Gryffindor table. Walking beside him were his two best-friends, Hermione and Ron, her elder brother. Grinning back, Harry sat next to her and held her awaiting hand, then leaning in for a kiss. Laughing, Ginny settled back in Harry's arms to watch the occurrences of today's breakfast in the Great Hall.

Disgusted in his laughing sister, Ron to pointedly looked away, loudly huffing, but was immediately sat on by the not-so-skinny Lavender Brown. (She had packed on a lot of weight since the start of the year, and we can't figure out why. After all of that making out with Ron you'd think that she would start to lose it!). Holding out her chubby arms, she shrieked for the entire hall to hear, "Won! Won! I thought you'd never come" and started to 'eat his face' as Hermione and I call it when they start to kiss.

Shuddering, it was now Hermione's turn to look away, although nobody came running over to greet her a good morning. Instead she just opened up a book that I swear was bigger than her, and buried herself in the volumous number of pages. Only one person noticed her every morning and took the time to stare, and it was unbelievable who. And amazingly it wasn't Neville, or Dean or even Zabini. (In case you hadn't known these guys have been keeping pretty close tabs of our Mione.) No it was that incredibly sexy blonde-haired, muscular Slytherin that had been her enemy since her first-year. Yes, it was Draco Malfoy, the sworn enemy of all Gryfindor's, particularly the 'golden trio'.

His cold grey eyes would unknowingly watch her every morning, despite that he was literally covered by his Slytherin sluts. Like, literally they _covered_ him, Pansy would resume her usual position, straddling his legs, while Millicent would wrap herself around him (don't ask how they didn't squash him), the other one with red hair would attack from behind and I really don't want to know what she did while she was there. Every morning this would occur across the great hall from us, and sometimes could make Parvati green with jealousy until she would have to run out of the hall. (We all know that she has a thing for Malfoy and would love to swap places with that Parkinson slut for just one day.)

At the end of breakfast, Hermione was still emerged in her book (one day she will literally be absorbed into the book! You know like muggle's reckon you could fall down the toilet) when a particular blonde-haired, very muscular Slytherin came up to her and asked if he could walk her to class. Hermione, being her usual Hermione self, abused him, who I believed called him if I recollect correctly, get this, a 'pathetic two-faced-little-friendless-ferret-who-relies-on-his-pathetic-harem-of-sluts-to-provide-him-with-joys-that-he-will-never-get-from-anyone-in-this-school-with-brains'. Yep that's our Mione, insulting the sexiest guy in school who is so totally in love with her. If I didn't know she was so smart, I would think she's stupid! (I too of course would say 'no', but in a nicer way because I am going out with Harry)

It was hilarious though, because he walked away like a little puppy dog with its tail between its legs. Oh and get this, Hermione followed him to class, as they both had potions. Would it have hurt her so much to walk with him? He looked so sad when she shut him down like that, although it was very funny! Plus she needed help carrying that book of hers, she ended up levitating that heavy mass of paper to potions, as it was too heavy to carry. I'm sure that Draco's sexy muscular arms could have easily lifted that heavy book, and it would have been nice to see those muscles rippling. Hmmmmmmm. WHOW! Wake up! Daydreaming is not good! GOING OUT with Harry! NO daydreaming!


	2. Lunch

Oh, god here they come. Do they ever bloody separate? I wonder if there is a single moment of the day that her lips are not attached to a part of my brother's body. Does Ron know what it looks like to have that fat piece of whatever-she-claims-to-be permanently attached to his body? Man, he needs a mirror. Thank God, there's Harry, and Hermione! They can save me! Who's that following her? No! It can't be. Are you serious? Oh my god, that is hilarious. Draco Malfoy is following Hermione into the great hall and his usual harem isn't there.

I so wish that someone would start to point and laugh at Ron. Seriously they just sat down next to me and Lav Lav is eating his face again. Oh it's so gross! They're slurping! Oh god, Harry, Hermione come and save me! Please! Anybody!

Harry and Hermione walked up and sat on the other side of me smiling at my shocked face, knowing that I wanted them on the other side. "Ginny, you know we wouldn't want to deprive you of the joys of sitting next to the face-eaters" Hermione grinned as Harry agreed with her and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Hermione rolled her eyes and looked away, opening up her huge-ass book again and started to read from the middle of the book that she started this morning. I have no idea where she finds the time to read!

Across the hall, I noticed that those grey eyes were watching her again, unknown to her. He was once again covered by in, Hermione's words, 'his pathetic harem of sluts' who were simultaneously trying to make out with him. It is so funny to watch! Pansy's tongue is down his throat while she is bitch-slapping Millicent, whose tongue is in his ear, while the red headed one is licking the side of his face as Millicent is kicking her leg. It must be really hard for them to concentrate on those two tasks at the same time. Usually they can only either make-out with him, or hurt each other. Man, they are a retarded bunch! Oh my god this is classic! Draco has just shoved the three of them off him! And wait! He's coming over here.

"Hermione! Look he's coming back for seconds!" Harry whispered as he elbowed her in the side. As Hermione looked up from her book (would you call that thing a book? It would have taken the whole tree to make it!), the blonde-haired Slytherin had confidently stopped in front of her. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, only for Hermione to lift her hand and slap him smartly across the face. Yelling obscenities at him, which I'm sure burnt his ears as he covered them with his hands howling with pain as he ran cowardly out of the great hall, as she shut him down again. Please let him come back at dinner! It will be just too funny for words, when she does it again!

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**Mwah,**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	3. Dinner

"Won Won!" screamed lavender when she saw her boyfriend and jumped up off the bench to run into his not-awaiting arms. She ran, nearly bowling him over, as she continued screeching, "I love you Won Won!" Hermione and Harry, who had walked into the hall with him, had looked down and run in my direction as I laughed at them. Diving on to the bench, Harry strung an arm around my shoulder; while Hermione immediately dug out a new book that she had used a spell on to lighten.

Yes! Hermione finished the last book, which she had only started reading this morning that she could barely carry. Now she's reading another one that I believe is slightly larger. THAT is not normal! How many people do you know that can read a book like that? And she's started another! I seriously don't know how she finds the time to read a book like that; and it hasn't even been a day!

Hey! Isn't that Draco reading a book? I didn't know he could read. He mustn't be able to 'cause he isn't even reading it, he's watching Hermione over the top of the book. He is such a freak!. No wonder; Mione doesn't want to go out with him, he's so perverted! He's like hot and everything, but like it's not normal to watch someone across the hall while pretending to read a book. Well maybe the first part is, but the second part…

This is hilarious; his little sluts don't understand why he's ignoring them. Poor Pansy can't straddle him this books in the way. Poor diddums, how will she cope without sitting on his lap? Oh, my thoughts have been answered, she just slapped Millicent who was just in her usual position. Cool, Millicent just punched her back, this is amusing! "Hey, Mione! Your boyfriends' sluts are fighting, let's laugh at them!" Harry maturely exclaimed as he pointed to the two girls being pulled apart by McGonagall. Hermione just muttered something unintelligible and poked his gut.

"Mmmmph" mumbled Ron next to me, in between slurping with lavender. He is so gross, couldn't he have picked a more attractive girlfriend, instead of her, of all people! There were the Parvati twins, or Luna or anyone, just not her! I suppose I can't stop it though, considering lavenders most probably pregnant. With her getting so fat so quickly, we're all just waiting for the announcement, or when she starts to exercise, because if she's no pregnant, she needs to start more exercise that doesn't involve Ron!

Okay, this is getting creepy now, he's coming over again! Didn't he learn from his last ear-bashing? I am surprised that he managed to get away from his harem of sluts three times today. Maybe he's drugging them, to get away. Oh, he's getting closer, and closer and finally he stood behind her and said "Hermione? Could I have a word with you?" incase you haven't noticed, Mione's feeling a little PMSy and answered, get this, "didn't you just say a few in a whole sentence, ferret boy? It must have taken you so long to figure out which words to say to make that a sentence. You're smarter than I thought" smiling, she turned around and glared at him. "Go out with me Granger" Draco determinedly said loudly in front of the great hall and roughly kissed her. Slapping him viciously in the face, Hermione screamed for all to hear, "Go get fucked Malfoy!" and 'accidentally' dropped her gigantic book on his foot as she got up, after lifting her spell.

It was hilarious! She walked out of the hall, smirking as he rolled around the floor screaming and crying like a baby. Seriously, it wasn't that bad, he only had fifteen broken bones in his foot.

**So what did you guys think? Thank you so much for your reviews! I loved them! Keep letting me know what you think! So press that little Go! button with those invisible flashing arrows and make me a very happy person! (The happier I am, the more funny stories I write!)**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	4. Breakfast Day 2

Hermione walked in giggling this morning, gripping Harry's arm as if she would be captured by wild werewolves if she let go. In reality, this was necessary, because as soon as she walked in the Slytherin sluts glared daggers into her clearly wishing her immediate death. I think it has something to do with yesterday and the fact that Malfoy had denied them their usual positions and had started to read that book that he started yesterday. Yes, he was still trying to get her attention by reading and he was still failing.

When Harry and Hermione sat down, Hermione amazingly didn't open a book, or her bag, instead she started shoveling in her food, like she was my bloody brother. Forkful after forkful, she shoved the food in her mouth, until I swear it was falling out. Her cheeks were full and grease was dripping down her chin. When she laughed, food literally sprayed out of her mouth, landing on Seamus and Dean, who were sitting opposite to her. I feel so sorry for them!

Watching her over his book, Malfoy smiled at her and continued reading. Usually he would yell out something insulting like 'Can't you even eat without stuffing it up? You incompetent mudblood!'. But no, nothing like that, he just kept reading his book, smiling while his harem of sluts cackled like a pack of hyenas. The only thing that he said, or actually yelled; "SHUT UP YOU FILTHY SLUTS!"

Their reaction was quite funny actually, because they screeched at him and each of them slapped him and ran out of the great hall crying, "We're NOT SLUTS! We just sleep around and get paid for it!" This was when Hermione looked up and stated, "They're right, they're prostitutes, not sluts!" and went back to searching through her bag.

Looking across the hall I saw a particular blonde boy watching her, smiling and said "watch out Hermione ferret at one o'clock" as he gathered his bag and walked over to our table. As he reached Mione, he smiled charmingly and brightly said "Hello Hermione! How are you this morning?", "Happy points are non-existent Malfoy! And don't call me Hermione, I'm granger to you." Oh, I just thought that it would be okay, maybe we could even have a truce and you could call me Malfoy." He continued in that same over-cheerful voice. "And, what then Malfoy? I fall deeply in love with you as you are in me and we live happily ever after?" sarcastically replied Hermione (I am just so proud of her!). "That would be great! Wanna go with me to Hogsemead? Everyone thinks I'm going out with you anyway".

Rolling her eyes, Hermione had that look on her face that was never good. It was that look that she had when she 'accidentally' dropped the book on his foot and broke fifteen of his bones and he saw it. Stepping back, he smiled and brightly said, "I'll talk to you at lunch then, and you can give me your answer" and tried to quickly run out of the room.

Everyone was watching as he attempted to run out of the great hall, except Won Won and Lav Lav who were too busy eating each others faces, too notice when Hermione leapt up and threw random curses at him. She was quite accurate with most of her spells and when she had finished, Malfoy had a pumpkin as a head, he was in a full body lock, his hands had become orange and he was wearing a g-string bikini, and nothing else. Very yummy to look at! Not that I should be saying or thinking that, but hey! I cant help it!

**So… same question as last…and reviews people. I want MORE! I love them… keep telling me what you think and I promise that I will write more! That should be incentive enough to write me some reviews!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	5. Lunch Day 2

Oh my god! I think that Won Won and lavender have had a fight today is glorious! For the first time since they had been going our, they weren't attached to each other by the bloody lips! Instead they were death glaring each other across the table/ o wonder what happened. Maybe Ron confessed his undying love to someone else…he, he, probably Hermione.

Hey! Thinking of Hermione, I haven't seen her come to lunch yet. Maybe she got caught up after class destroying Malfoy's reputation again. I really don't know why he just doesn't give up. There is no way what so ever, that our Mione will go out with a slime-ball like him. She is too Gryffindorish and he is just to Slytherinish. Hermione will keep embarrassing him and we will all keep laughing at him. I wonder what she doing to him…

Suddenly the great hall doors flew open and Hermione stormed in, while everybody but Won Won and lavender, who were trying to stare each other out, turned to watch. Walking straight over to the smirking blonde-haired Slytherin, everyone knew that he was the reason for her anger. All I could think was 'god help you Malfoy!', I don't even know why I thought that because I cant stand him, but still I feel sorry for anyone who's angered out Mione. This argument that they have is a classic, Hermione could barely breath due to all of the connected words.

"Malfoy! What did you do that for? You-stupid-little-ferret-with-no-bloody-brains-but-a-very-big-nerve-to-do-that!" Hermione ranted as soon as she reached him. "Do what, Hermione-dear? I don't know what you're talking about" Malfoy smiled sweetly at her. "You know what you did! You-told-moaning-myrtle-who-told-peeves,-who-told-the-bloody-baron-who-then-told-all-of-the-portraits-who-then-told-everybody-that-they-saw-that-i-was-going-out-with-you!" but you are Mione-pott!" Malfoy replied reaching for her clenched hand. "I-AM-NOT-GOING-OUT-WITH-YOU! Did everybody hear that? I-AM-NOT-AND-NEVER-WILL-BE-GOING-OUT-WITH-DRACO-FERRET-MALFOY!" "Hermione, come and sit down darling! You're drawing a crowd" Malfoy calmly said as he gestured to the staring students in the great hall. "Oh my god! I hate you Draco Malfoy!" Hermione screamed as she pulled out her sparking wand, "Petrificus Totalus! Yeah Malfoy! You're going down!"

This image was quite hilarious if you can imagine it. All of us Gryffindor's were cheering her on, laughing at Malfoy, while all of the Slytherins had backed away from our bushy-haired, purple-faced Mione. Malfoy was lying on the floor frozen, his eyes wide as Hermione leaned over him smiling evilly. McGonagall and Snape had walked determinedly out of the great hall with the other professors clearly not wishing to see what was happening.

As soon as they had walked out of the great hall, Hermione inflated Malfoy's head and shrunk his body, so he looked like a bobble-head toy. She then put him into a pink tutu and levitated his still frozen body with wide eyes and twirled on the spot. "Oh Malfoy, pink suits you!" she said as she skipped out of the great hall humming, leaving Malfoy spinning on the spot pleading with his eyes for someone to let him down.

**Hey-dee-hoo, my-fan-fic-friends,**

**Are you enjoying my story, or do you want it stranger, because trust me, my mind is twisted enough…don't tell anyone I just wrote that…and I would be more than happy to please you. Hey if you REVIEW I can guarantee that I will REPLY, I bet you can't refuse that offer can you? Everyone wants a letter from me…**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	6. Dinner Day 2

I was sitting peacefully minding my very own business at the table, on my own, because I always get here before everyone else and who would come from behind me and drag me off into a nearby cupboard. Unfortunately for me; no it wasn't my wonderful boyfriend, Harry, who I like to make out in cupboards with, but it was tutu boy. Ever since lunch time we have been calling Malfoy tutu boy and the funniest thing ever, is that he would answer to it! So anyways, we're in this very dark, small cupboard and his face is millimetres away from mine and he goes, "Make Hermione go out with me!"

All I could think was oh my god, I am in this very small space with the sex-god of Hogwarts and he is not making out with me! "How the hell am I supposed to make Hermione go out with you? Can you not see that she hates you!" If it was possible, Draco got closer and I could feel his breath on my cheek and he clearly stated, "Make her, or I destroy your relationship with Harry" Now I was thinking, Oh shit! I have to get them together to keep Harry, and I love Harry, so I can't let Draco destroy our relationship, "Fine, I'll try but I won't promise anything"

Stepping out of the cupboard, I saw something that I wish to never ever see in my life again, Ron was 'kissing' Lavender so much; I believe that his entire face disappeared. Her obese stomach piled over the top of her jeans and pressed hardly against Ron, who was rubbing it. I so don't know how he could still find her attractive. Sitting far away from them as I possibly could with out being overly obvious, I preyed that Harry and Hermione would hurry up and get here so I didn't have to be alone with them for too long.

Five seconds later, my preyers were answered when Hermione skipped into the great hall and collapsed into the bench beside me. "Heya Ginny! Havin' fun?" she sung as she spoke "Oh, look here comes Harry!" Sure enough Harry walked sombrely into the hall, looking like hell. Groaning as he sat down, he hugged me and glared at Malfoy, who was eyeballing Hermione again. "What did you do to him this time Hermione?" I asked suspicious by the gleam in her eye. "Oh, nothing yet, I have many plans though…" she replied in thought as she piled her dish with food.

Ten minutes later, Hermione had eaten or shall I say inhaled her food and looked full, when looked over at Harry with her hand outstretched for something. Handing over a piece of paper and quill, Hermione wrote on it, cast a spell on it and flew it over to Draco. This is what she wrote:

_My dearest Draco,_

_I have spent many hours thinking of you, and I believe that it is best that we see more of each other. Therefore I have decided that I will go out with you, as you are the sexiest man that I have ever laid eyes on, except Viktor Krum offcourse, as he was a very rich, famous international Quidditch player. This letter must be kept confidential; therefore I have placed a charm on it to self-destruct instantly after you have read it._

_Yours forever or until I tire of you,_

_Hermione_

As you can imagine, I was overjoyed with her sudden change of heart as I could keep my Harry and Malfoy would leave us alone. What a wonderfully productive day, but all I could think of was what Hermione was going to do to Draco now she is going out with him. Twitch, twitch.

**Alrighty…ha ha…so Hermione's going out with Draco Malfoy, her sworn enemy…I'm gonna have fun with this…REVIEW and tell me what you think**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	7. Breakfast Day 3

It was rather disturbing again this morning when Hermione skipped in again, smiling as she did not carry any books, just her bag. All of the Gryffindor's eyed her suspiciously as she skipped over grinning and singing some song that was really irritating it was like this, "schni schni schanppy, schnappy, schnappy" and it was repeated and it was as annoying as hell. However, it all became clear as Draco stumbled into the great hall carrying so many books that he could barely see over the top of them. Giggling in a very un-Hermione-ish way she called Draco over and directed him to place the books on the table, but gently to not dent the covers.

The really scary part of this was that Draco did it without whining, glaring, snarling, spitting, insulting or attacking her. It was a great improvement on his part, as he even returned to his own house table and didn't complain about her. Draco never bowed down to anyone before, our Mione has made history! "Hermione, what are you planning?" Harry asked as he looked at his best friend that was grinning at herself. "Well, first I am going to humiliate him and destroy his reputation, and then I think that I might dump him!" she smirked as she said this, remembering all of the things that he had done to her. "Hermione! That is so evil! I am totally loving the new you!" shrieked Lavender in the rare moments of separation from Ron's lips.

Naturally Hermione wasn't exactly flattered by this comment after considering some of her previous comments regarding her educational achievements, but being her gracious self she smiled and thanked lavender who was re-attached to Ron. She did this as she looked over the hall and into the beautiful blue eyes of the gorgeous Draco Malfoy. In turn he smiled at her winking, so she motioned him over with her hand. "Mione, what are you doing? He can't sit here!" Harry exclaimed while stringing his arm around my shoulder. Sometimes he is so stereotypical, huffing and puffing about Ron, when he is just as bad for being clingy. Mind you I would never eat his face, it is much too beautiful.

But anyways, back to Hermione and Draco…Draco had nearly ran across the great hall at Mione's invitation and immediately sat on the other side of her and wrapped his arm around her waist. I still can't get over the fact that he apparently loves her, when he bloody well hated her last night! Yeah, so he wrapped his arm around her waist and she leaned into him. You should have seen his face. It was hilarious! It was like all of his birthdays and Christmases had come at once! He lit up like a Christmas tree and had the nerve to kiss the top of her head, and this was when Hermione smiled.

"Did I say that you could kiss me? No! I didn't. We-only-just-bloody-started-to-go-out-and-you-start-trying-to-make-out-with-me!-Other-freaking-girls-my-find-this-attractive-but-I-don't. Get some brains Malfoy!" she screamed, causing a scene immediately. Everyone turned to stare at the very controversial couple that everyone liked to gossip about and smirked. Draco's harem of sluts hissed at Hermione, while the Gryffindor's roared.

Jumping out of her seat Hermione glared at her boyfriend and whipped out her wand. Ducking, Draco dived under the table while trying to get his wand from his pocket, but it seemed to be glued stuck. "Hermione! You got glue in my pocket!" he exclaimed shocked as he was left unprotected crouched under the table. "Oops, did I do that?" she smiled and shot a variety of harmless spells at Draco, just to upset him, nothing to hurt him. She had much more to do with him yet.

So she turned him completely red with gold lions, she lengthened his hair so it was floor length and bright pink. In case you couldn't figure it out, this was very long considering his height. She also stripped him down to his boxers and gave him a super-wedgie. And when I say a super-wedgie, I mean one, like his face was covered by the back of his boxers. So, so, hilarious, especially since she wiped his memory afterwards and he couldn't remember anything.

Jumping up Harry grabbed Hermione around the shoulders and hugged her, "you are brilliant!" he yelled as us Gryffindor's surrounded them screaming. "Thank you!" Hermione smiled as she confidently walked from the great hall leaving her books for Draco who was just emerging from under the table smiling "I'll get your books Mione!"

**Hiya peoples!**

**How's ya goin? I'm pretty good incase you're wondering, but very sorry that I have taken so long to update (he he). Anyways …I am loving your guys reviews and would love more, and not because I'm greedy, I just like them!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	8. Lunch Day 3

This lunch is bound to be different. I know, I'm used of Hermione abusing Draco, but now that she is 'going out with him' she can get away with it. And she is so creative, who seriously would have thought of turning him into a Gryffindor mascot and then wiping his memory. She is a genius I say! The next Merlin!

Oh god! No! Please don't let this be happening to me! Please no! No! No! No! No! NO! Why do they always have to sit next to me? Why couldn't they sit with the other snogging couples? Stupid question! Only Won Won and Lav Lav spend their meal times snogging and whatever else they do that I really don't want to know about. Oh god, MY EARS HURT! Why me? Why?

Yay! Harry's coming! He can be tortured too! And Hermione with her boyfriend….what will she do to them this time? Please let her strip him again. He is just so sexy! Oh! Erase that thought…don't want to let Harry or Ron to know I think that. The only reason that they are 'letting' Hermione go out with Draco is because they love to see him humiliated.

"Harry, sit on this side of me!" I smiled at him as he approached carefully, suspicious of my grinning. "Uh…NO! I would like to keep my sane mind" he replied as he sat on my other side and hugged me. I love him so much, but sometimes I just wish that he would sit next to his best-friend. Seriously, it is my brother! I do not want to know, hear or see what he does with his 'girlfriend'. And man has she gotten fat! She must be like a muggle size 20 around her stomach. She just has to be pregnant...oh bad thoughts!

"Hermione, Come and sit on this side of me!" I tried again as she followed Harry with her sexy-beast in tow. Hey is she heading this way? Oh my god! She is, but she's not. No! This is almost too funny for words. She has just sat her boyfriend next to the couple and sat next to me, I love her so much.

The harem of sluts glared at us as Draco strung his arm around our Mione as he pretended to yawn. You would seriously think that magical guys would learn something new, that the muggle guys don't use. Every time I've gone the movies with a muggle guy, they have done that, it is so freaking annoying. Almost as much as that god damn song that Hermione was singing at breakfast. It got stuck in my mind!

Suddenly a screaming, jolted us all out of our seats. Draco had jumped up and down screaming like a little girl as his pants were burning. Hermione, naturally, was the cause of this. Apparently she had found a spell that would turn little muggle nursery rhymes into the truth. "Kookaburra sits on the electric wire. Jumping up and down; with his pants on fire. Cry kookaburra cry. How hot your tail must be!" she sung loudly as her dear boyfriend started to cry and scream louder.

It really was a funny sight. Draco; jumping up and down on the spot screaming for the pain to stop. I know that I would pay to see it and I'm sure that Harry and Ron would just from their faces. Draco's harem of sluts that still worshipped him ran over to his side with a mix of extinguishing spells that knocked him on his back as he still burned. "Give me ice!" he screamed as he held his very tender crotch. "Sure darling!" Hermione sweetly smiled as she discreetly covered it with chili.

As he stuffed the ice pack down his pants, new cries of pain emitted from his already huge mouth. "More ice! More, more ice!" he bellowed as fresh pain filled his cries. "What is the matter with you Draco?" Hermione said as she crouched down smiling as she gave him more ice. "Pain…pain…madam pomfrey…pain…help…dead" he cried as he fell unconscious from the very apparent pain.

**He he…I so couldn't help that, it was just too funny, I suppose the word is. I hope that you enjoyed that chapter… I am also very sorry about the SLOW updating. I suffered a little bit of writers block…but it should all be over now… hope that you enjoyed that…REVIEW and tell…**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	9. Dinner Day 3 replaced

That is it! I am officially sick of this, I am breaking them up! Who, you may ask, none other than the wonderful couple of Ronald Weasely and Lavender Brown. Seriously, they spend 99 percent of their time sucking at each others faces. Okay, I'm getting bored whinging about them, I think I've exhausted every insult about them, lets resort to gossip. I heard through Parvati Patil, lavenders best-friend, that maybe all of our suspicions are true and that she may be pregnant! That is just hilarious to think of my mother's reaction if this is true, poor, poor Ronniken's should have kept his pants on!

Yep, so where is everyone? Is there something happening that I don't know about? A little draco-torture special? A Fred-and-George-memorial occurring? A mass detention? Has Hermione finally convinced everyone to have a strike against the enslavement of elves and they are protesting? Why is there no one here but the bloody face-eaters?

If they don't hurry up I swear, I'm going to stick this bottle of Beerbutter up Ronald's nose. Harry, get your ass in here before I cause some serious harm to your best friend and my brother! As if on cue, the massive oak doors swung open and a mass of students piled in, noise filled the hall and the tables was immediately swallowed in people. That's right; you make it so I have to sit here, so my friends can't see me, so I'm stuck next to this lot! Make my life a living hell.

Looking hopefully down the Gryffindor table, I saw none other than the bushy-haired bookworm and my raven-haired boyfriend fighting their way closer to me. "Mione, where's Drakie-baby?" I faked concern and she giggled, confirming my suspicions that she was torturing Draco. "What did you do to him this time?" I asked rolling my eyes as both Harry and her grin.

"Let's just say, that he will be a little cold tonight on top of the astronomy tower, half naked!" I swear I felt my jaw drop; they had locked him on top of the astronomy tower, on a winter's night half-naked? I have to get there! Not to help him, hell no, to see him…oh, crap Harry's here, I didn't just say that! I giggled as Harry drew me into a warm embrace and I wrapped my arms thankfully around him. I don't know why I am fascinated with Draco's body, its not like I haven't got Harry's.

Yet I still don't understand how Hermione could not want him, seriously, he is HOT! Then again, I don't think ill ever be able to understand Hermione, with her masses of textbooks, and lack of concern for her image. "Don't worry Gin, I'm gonna let him down after an hour! I'm not that harsh, I don't completely hate him!" Hermione smiled at me, my face must have shown my shock at their actions. So she doesn't completely hate him, is that a good or bad thing?

**Did you like or hate? This is the question that I pose to my readers….take the challenge willingly or I may have to make you…hehe**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Soubies**


	10. Breakfast Day 4

Hermione didn't come back last night. I don't know where she was, but I sense that it was not good. Our know-it-all bookworm would never pull an all-nighter on us with out there being a reason. Maybe Draco paid someone to lock her up there with him. That would have been funny. I wonder who would have done it though; definitely not Pansy or one of the others from his harem of sluts, maybe Zabini or someone from another house.

Oh look, here comes the ever elusive face-suckers, what noises will they make today? Wow, they at least sat down before they started, oh god, will they stop? Why do they have to sit next to me? They're gonna make me sick! I wonder if Madam Pomfrey would be able to make it physically impossible for them to do that, particularly in public, maybe remove their lips or something.

At least Harry is coming now, someone to share my pain with. Sitting next to me, Harry wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek. He is just so sweet for words; he always seems to know how to make me better. I wonder if its psychic connection lets try.

Now I gotta keep my face straight, don't want to show emotions, now think Ginny think. I want you to kiss me passionately. I want you to kiss me passionately. Keep face straight Gin, keep it straight. I want you to kiss me passionately. Is he coming closer? Yes? No? Come on Harry, kiss me passionately. No, he wants the pumpkin juice, definitely not telepathic in any way. Damn.

Hey look, there's Hermione, and she had bed hair, and-is-being-viciously-glared-at-more-than-usual-by the-harem-of-sluts. I wonder what she got up to last night…hee hee?

"…" Oh dear it's the deathly silence, never a good thing, but a usual for our Hermione as her nose is usually stuck in a book. But still, not a good thing especially considering the look on her face!

"Hey Mione, where were you last night?" Harry asked, clearly not noticing the bags under her eyes, her messier-than-usual hair and crumpled robes.

Glaring at her best friend Hermione took a breath to calm her self before starting, "Well, I went to go and free Draco and the harem of sluts accidentally locked me inside the tower with Draco instead of themselves. And I only got two of my usual eight hours sleep, because after untying Draco, I tried in desperation to free myself from the tower, and then he expected me to sleep next to him because he was cold. I AM NOT A TEDDY BEAR!"

Ohkay then…she had a really bad night then, personally I wouldn't have minded being Draco Malfoy's teddy bear, look at his chest! I really shouldn't think about his body, I have Harry's, "Harry, come here!" Oooo, I can feel his muscles, I wonder if Draco…No, bad thoughts, going out with Harry, not Draco, Harry!

"Ginny, why are you staring at the Ferret while feeling my very manly chest?" Harry asked while looking down on the red-head groping his muscles.

"Oh, um…I was just testing to make sure you had more muscles than the ferret." I replied grinning, hoping to hell that the explanation would work.

"You know I have more muscles than the Ferret, even Neville does!" Harry replied as Hermione death glared him more.

"I happen to know that he has a very strong grip when he wants to hug you like a teddy bear." Hermione matter-of-factly told him.

"That's just cuz he lurves you 'Mione."

"Does not!"

"Hermione and Mal-ferret sitting in a tree,"

"If you continue…"

"K"

"…I'm gonna flatten you…"

"I"

"…into an unrecognisable pulp…"

"S"

"…then drown you in a wading pool…"

"S"

"…and then feed you to Crookshanks…"

"I"

"…and when he craps you out…"

"N"

"…I'm gonna dump you on the doorstep of the death-eaters HQ and light you on fire…"

"G"

"…You can so consider yourself DEAD!"

As you could imagine, this ordeal was quite amusing; with Hermione yelling in whispers, and Harry singing in whispers. It got better when she jumped him and started to pull his hair. Funnier yet; when Harry turned around, they started slapping each other, their faces turned away and their hands flying in all directions.

By now all of the great hall had heard the fight and had started chanting "Bitch fight! Bitch fight!", making Hermione all the madder. So naturally, like any one extremely angered by a simple song, she froze time, grabbed her wizard face painting kit, and made everyone's face something different. I was a rainbow; Harry was a garbage bin, Draco was a ferret, Pansy was a leaf, Lavender was orange and Ron had huge lip marks all over her face. She even painted Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape, Snape was Oscar from Sesame Street; McGonagall was a cat, while Dumbledore had muggle sweets painted all over his face.

Yeah, Hermione has issues with publicly displaying her relationship with Draco. Note to self; never address Hermione as a couple with Draco unless wishes to die. Anyways, after she finished her spectacle she ran out of the great hall and headed straight to her first class.

**Hello!**

**I hope you like this new one…and I must advise you that reviewing does good things to my creativity….hint hint…REVIEW…hint hint…oh and I also hope that you guys go and read some of my crazy one-shots….hee hee!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


	11. Lunch Day 4

I am very pleased to report today, that although Harry has yet to passionately kiss me and Hermione is still playing with poor unsuspecting Draco's heart, our very own Lavender Brown is pregnant! Yes, with none other than little Ronniekins baby, the sex is unknown yet and I believe that they told my beloved parents only minutes ago through an owl. If they had asked me I would have told them, that that would be a big mistake…it was enough he got her pregnant, but telling mum through an owl? That's just low Ron, low.

Ahhh yes, I'm sitting her alone again, the joys of being in the year under the others, waiting for them all to join me. They are all out of class offcourse, Ron and lavender have skived off to the owlery, obviously to make peace with my dear old mum, which will probably be hard, I remember the time she believed what Rita Skeeter was writing about Hermione…I can't wait to hear what happened. I will offcourse interrogate the others as soon as they get their lazy asses down for lunch!

**Five minutes later:**

"Three-hundred-and-thirty-six bottles of butterbeer on the wall, three-hundred-and-thirty-six bottles of butterbeer, one falls down and breaks on the ground, three-hundred-and-thirty-five bottles of butterbeer on the wall." I sung enthusiastically, my loyal and time conscious friends had arrived finally and I was setting out to annoy the hell out of them, just as they deserved…they shouldn't have left me on my own for so long!

"Oh my god Ginny shut up!" Hermione growled as Draco wrapped himself around her like a huge person shaped blanket making my inwardly laugh hysterically at her; I knew she hated the kind of attention that Draco was giving her.

"Three-hundred-and-thirty-five bottles of butterbeer on the wall, three-hundred-and-thirty-five bottles of butterbeer, one falls down and breaks on the ground, three-hundred-and-thirty-four bottles of butterbeer on the wall." I continued to sing, ignoring her protests, one day they will learn not to upset this little Ginny Weasely.

"Please Ginny! No more! We've heard too much of that song for the moment!" Harry started to plead while pulling me into what was supposed to be a comforting and reassuring hug I think, "Please no more bottles of butterbeer on the wall song!"

**Ten minutes later:**

"Two-hundred-and-ninety-five bottles of butterbeer on the wall, two-hundred-and-ninety-five bottles of butterbeer, one falls down and breaks on the ground, two-hundred-and-ninety-four bottles of butterbeer on the wall." I sung, brightly smiling at my friends surrounding me.

"Ginny, we said we were sorry about leaving you on your own, now please, please, please stop singing that song!" Harry pleaded some more, which really made me want to sing more; I wanted to see how far I could push them, how long they would last.

"But Harry, there's like another two-hundred-and-ninety-four verses to go!" I contested while grinning at the couple next to me. Hermione had nearly disappeared as Draco all but sat on her and was not so subtly hinting his desire to make out with her. He was kissing all over her face, playing with her hair and just overall paying her too much attention while she was attentively paying attention to the grain on the table, seemingly pretending that she was anywhere but where she was, "Hermione! Wake up!" I yelled, to bring her out of her thoughts and back into her misery.

"OH MY FUCKING LORD WILL YOU GET THE FUCK OFF ME DRACO?!?!" she bellowed as Draco leaned into kiss her nose and promptly threw him off her and onto the floor, "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I NEED PERSONAL SPACE!?!? FROM NOW ON YOU DON'T COME WITH IN A 30 CENTIMETER RADIUS OF ME! GOT THAT YOU CLINGY LITTLE CATERPILLAR??" she continued to scream before somehow managing to slam her book off the table and stalk off most likely to the library.

Draco, meekly, still sitting on the floor looked up at Harry and me with a pleading puppy dog look in his incredibly sexy eyes – why must I continually think he's sexy! Harry would kick his ass cough cough in a sexiness competition any cough day! – and asked "Should I follow her?"

Laughing out loud now, I looked at Harry before answering Draco, "only if you want to get your ass kicked again boy, she's on the hunt for blood. Just a little word of warning Draco dear, Hermione likes to get a lot of sleep and she hates obsessive displays of public affection, she kind of goes nuts like that…Harry anything else we should add for our dear friend here?"

"Um, don't try to copy her homework, never pull a prank on her by hiding her books, and don't get her into trouble or generally annoy her…she hates to be annoyed!" Harry mumbled while determinately looking away from Draco and myself, whether he's jealous or just doesn't want to speak about Hermione, is beside me but I don't care, Hermione will love Draco by the end of this, and he will still love her. Its just right that those two fall in love, like seriously they are perfect together when Hermione isn't pulling a prank on him or plainly being a bitch.

**Howdy…I hope you guys liked my update….hmm not much to say today…um I have 8 more days of school left ever!! Hence the updating all of my stories at the moment…I have heaps of time at the moment to be writing all of this stuff that I haven't been able to update for ever!! Woot!! Ohkay then….please leave me a review!!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


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